My own safe place

  Over the last few years as the really hard work of growing up has kicked in, I have learned a few things.  One of them is about being my own safe place.  For years I thought my safety resided in the arms of another, in their heart, and in their love for me.  But as profound as a love may be, unexpected changes come.  Relationships break apart.  People grow in different directions.  Suddenly, or not so suddenly, I found myself on my own again.
   So what happens if your safe place depends on another person?  The safety is tenuous at best.  Once they are gone, life is set adrift.  Through trial and error, tears and laughter, I have discovered that I am my own safe place.  I am the one who sets the boundaries. I am the one who controls my life.  I am the one who, for better or worse, gets to make decisions about who I will be in the world.  If disappointments or heartaches stumble into my life, I know I can cope.  Wisdom and experience tell me I will survive and learn.
  Becoming dependent on myself for my own well-being opens a whole new way of being in the world.  Now when I enter into a relationship it is with a great sense of freedom.  I can be who I am without reserve.  I can open my arms and embrace another with a presence of self that was absent before.
   As with any learning or journey, there are bumps in the road.  Sometimes I need a refresher course or gentle reminder, but for the most part the lesson is learned.  It is one I treasure because it sets me free to love with abandon, to pursue my passions, and to try new adventures.  After all, those are the things that make life abundant and entertaining.