Zombie Guinea Pigs

   Tonight was the night of the Zombie Guinea Pig.  It all took place in the basement of the the local medical building.  I was booked for an overnight sleep test to see if I actually breathe once I close my eyes.  If the way I feel in the morning is any indication, there is not much oxygen getting to my brain.  So off I went, ready for anything.  Well, I thought I was ready anything.

   The room where I was to sleep wasn't bad considering what I was there to do. However, I did have serious concerns about the two very small flat pillows that were provided for my comfort.  I usually sleep with five fat fluffy ones that have been finely tuned to fit different places on my body for optimal sleep.  Obviously, the pillow arrangement is not as finely tuned as I would like, otherwise I wouldn’t be in a  lovely bedroom in the basement of a medical building waiting for a technician to connect up to machines.

    An hour after I arrived, my host for the evening arrived.  He told me to get in my pajamas and meet him in a room down the hall when I was ready.  Had I had any idea what was in store, I might have walked in the other directions. However, modelling my finest sleepwear I trundled through the maze to where he waited.

    He started to connect the wires.  It took an hour.  Really, an hour.  There electrodes everywhere.  My head was covered.  This morning when I washed my hair I discovered that they had been adhered with mud mixed with crazy glue.  I think I got most of it out with elbow grease and hot water but my hair still resembles the Straw Man.  

      Once everything conceivable had been attached.  My host sent me back to my room.  No bread crumbs, just follow the oxygen tubing.  I made my way to the bathroom for my last visit and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I looked like a zombie guinea pig.  If you don't know what that is, think of the wild haired rodent from the pet store.  Now think of it after it has stuck a tiny finger in an electrical socket. Next add glazed over bug eyes... Zombie guinea pig.  I looked just like one as I headed to bed. Another bizarre adventure to add to the list of my life.

   It seems appropriate that I ended up there in that lab, looking like that the week before Easter.  This week traditionally goes, shall we say, to hell in a hand basket. How much worse can it get than Zombie Rodents?  It is like the Universe unleashes every wonky energy there is and life becomes unsettled and uncomfortable for these seven days.  Often during this time I find myself unable to focus or concentrate very well.  It is no different this year. 

    For the most part, I can find my ground and center my spirit.   Not a chance of it happening right now.  My best breathing techniques and meditation practices are in vain.  Prayer requires that I hang onto a thought for more than a millisecond or at the very least sit quietly.  Nope, not working.  Any shiny object or whiff of distraction will carry me away. 

   These days require that I trust the Holy One to hold me gently,  breathe grace upon me,  root me in the Divine Love until the storm subsides and I find my way back to ground. Oh, how I hope there is a place for Zombie Guineas pigs there!