Panic or Peace?

The phone is ringing.  My inbox is full of unanswered email.  There are three requests on my desk which need immediate replies.  We are out of toilet paper and milk in the fridge has soured.  It is easy to get lost in the details of a day.  The details swell and grow.  Suddenly the details of an ordinary day have morphed into a gigantic two-headed monster who will devour me at a moment's notice if I don't stay ahead of it.

The detail monster (D.M. as I affectionately call her) reigns will an iron fist making sure that all attention comes her way.  The only way to break her power is to stop.  I know that sounds counter intuitive.  The smart thing to do would be to clear the list so that tomorrow can be a fresh start.  According to that theory the monster would remain small, baby-size, but manageable.

I disagree.  I don't want her running any piece of my day.  So.... I stop.  I turn off both my phones, close the computer, hide my to-do list under the stack of papers on my desk and go find my comfy chair.  For twenty minutes I get to sit and simply notice my breath.   D.M. is not allowed entry into my sanctuary.  If she dares to breach the walls of my thoughts, she is swiftly booted to the curb and I return to the serenity of noticing my breath.

Those twenty minutes where I am apparently doing nothing but breathing are the bedrock of my life.  It sounds strange, I am sure.  However,  those moments allow me to connect with myself.  They allow me the space to ground myself in the pieces of living that important to me.  Despite her best attempt, D.M. will not be running the show.  When she is in control, I start to look like her minus the extra head.  My temper frays.  I become impatient and testy.  In that mood, everything takes longer because of the complaining factor.  I mentally complain about every task at hand.  It adds energy and time for that extra step.

Life is much better for me and for everyone I come in contact with if D.M. finds another realm to conquer.  Most days if I practice what I preach, she stays away only occasionally scratching at the door.  However, if I miss a day or two, she can smell the opening and charges back with a vengeance. This dance between the two of us becomes a practice.  I practice my daily sit.  I practice paying attention to each task before me, one at a time.  I practice not heeding D.M.'s voice as she beckons me towards panic. I simply take one thing at a time and give my full attention to it.  When that is completed, I move on the next thing.

So today, I will answer the phone.  I will breath.  I will answer some emails.  I will be grateful for the fact that I replied to as many as I did.  I will go to the grocery store because really a house can't survive without toilet paper and some milk.  And ... for today D.M. has to find another place to live!

Well, it's official!  I have a new website up and launched!  Ordinary Wild Woman now has a site dedicated to helping women access their inner Wild Woman through a coaching experience.  While personally I think coaching is a great option, there are other ways to coax that Wild Woman to the surface.  Sometimes it feels as though she has gone on a holiday somewhere sunny and forgotten to take you with her. She is still around waiting for an invitation to come out and play.  At the very least she needs a crack in your being so she can escape!

Here are some suggestions about how you might reconnect with her.  It is certainly worth the effort!  The wisdom she brings is wisdom we all need.


1.  Take ten minutes and simply sit.  Breathe. Give yourself a chance to stop and listen.  In those quiet moments she may appear.  Even if she doesn't you have a chance to be present to yourself and maybe open up her escape hatch!

2.  Stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. It doesn't have to be big.  Walk around the block.  Go somewhere by yourself.  Make the phone call you have been dreading.  Publish a website!

3. Move your body! That doesn't necessarily mean exercise. Turn up the radio and dance around the kitchen.  Remember the saying, "dance like no one is watching"?  Dancing in circles around your kitchen may present some problems if you have a spouse.  However, children are great dance partners.   If you have a drum, drum while you dance.  If that is all too much for you, at least go shimmy in the privacy of your bathroom.  Just one little shimmy!  You can do it!

4. Be thankful for something.  Gratitude opens the heart in amazing ways.  It is a good place to start any change.  Wild Women do have extraordinarily grateful hearts.

5. Find a reason to laugh.  Wild Women can't resist the sound of laughter.  They want to join in and laugh so hard it makes them roll around on the floor!  Besides, laughter is good for your blood pressure.

There is a start for enticing your Wild Woman to come out and join the party.  If you have any other suggestions, I would love to hear them!

Here's to meeting your long lost friend, the Ordinary Wild Woman within!

PS  The website address is www.ordinarywildwoman.com. Check it out!

Mountains and the Ocean

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  Reflections from a trip to Canmore, AB. at the end of February 2013

 The Canadian Rockies are spectacular.  My daughter has only been speechless twice in her twenty-five years.  Once when I told her I had bought a house with a pool in the backyard. The second time was when she saw the Rockies for the first time when she was eight.

   My first glimpse of them was through pale gray rain clouds.  My husband, pointed out some enormous shapes through the drizzle.  I thought it was just larger clouds. The mountains of my youth were the ancient Appalachians, which stood like regal elders rounded over with age.  The outline of these was that of prideful youth, tall and craggy reaching nearly to the clouds.  My disbelief turned to wonder as we were enveloped in their majesty.  I had to tilt my head far back to see their peaks.

   There are bigger mountains the further in you drive.  But the ones assigned to welcome people, the ones on the distant edges are my favourites. There is an ancient wisdom and peace about them.  Perhaps it comes from simply standing in one place for so long.  Or perhaps it is their solidness and size.  Whatever it is I find comfort in them.

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   I have lived for the last decade in the foothills of these mountains.  Yet it has been at least two years since I have come to call on them.  Yesterday, I returned.  Once again amazed by their power and beauty.

   Without a doubt, I am a beach woman.  The sun, the sand, the pounding of the waves,  speak to my soul.  Given a choice I chose the beach every time.  But I have come to realise that a dose of the mountains every now and then is life giving too.  They have their own kind of energy.

  I could feel the energy shift as I drove in yesterday.  It isn’t always comfortable for me which is why I like the ocean better.  Sometimes the mountains unsettle me.  There is structure and a sense of constraint as I stand in the midst of them.  Where the ocean speaks of endless possibilities the mountains talk of setting goals and heading in a specific direction. 

   I was only there less than twenty-four hours, but I heard their whispers, their call to decisions which are always held in the hand of the Creator.  I listened.  Their voice has taken up residence in the deepest places of my heart to give balance to the wide open dare of the sea.  Together their voices blend to offer guidance as a I launch myself into the next unknown piece of my life.